Hello everyone! Thanks for joining us this week. I want to give a huge shout out to my sister CC Qiwi who sent her regards after enjoying last week’s article with her mom. Much love to the CDC 2018 Q Litter. Aging like fine wine, we are!
This week we’re going to talk about humans, dogs, and physical affection. The mushy stuff, if you will. See, we Can Do Canines inspire a lot of love - from our whelpers and raisers, to inmate handlers and CDC staff, and of course, the human partners we faithfully serve. Love is all around, and I can assure you that the feeling is mutual. Science Humans have proven that both dogs and people get spikes of love hormones (oxytocin) when we’re together in mutually satisfying ways.
We all know love isn’t just a feeling or a brain chemical. Love is a demonstration, and it influences our behavior. All mammals communicate their connection to each other using their bodies. However, each species uses wildly different methods and body parts! Unlike her primate counterparts, Mom does NOT show her commitment to my dad by picking bugs out of his beard. If anyone is searching for crumbs in there it’s me, and my intentions are not selfless.
When my personal humans are trying to love each other well I’ve heard them talk about “love languages,” and I think us dogs are much the same way. Some dogs are Stage 4 Clingers who want to live in your skin. Others of us show affection through interaction and play. And some of us favor gifting you with our Noble Nearness, but don’t crave all that “touching” stuff.
Each Can Do Canine you host will have unique physical affection preferences. Here are some things to think about when loving the wide variety of dogs that come through your home.
1) Watch Your Hands You humans are primates, and primates are serious about using their hands. You reach out to touch each others’ faces. You squeeze each other tight. Can Do Canines, however, are canines. (Crazy coincidence, right?) Most of us will tolerate that primate nonsense when we’re with our Special Humans because we are the Best of Dogs and are bred to be resilient. However, that doesn’t mean we are head over heels with it, even the Stage 4 Clingers among us.
When it comes to humans in general, Can Do Canines are ALL IN. But when it comes to human HANDS our universal priority is that those hands feed us cookies. Many of us also enjoy (and/or live for) scritches and strokes, but this varies WIDELY by dog and depends on the body part and the circumstance. Please also keep in mind that a dog’s preferences regarding physical touch may change as we grow and mature. This is especially relevant to you because as volunteers you are essentially raising Labrador Teenagers! Who knows what fresh havoc awaits you each morning when you release us from our crates and out into the world!
Just kidding. We’re perfect. At least, I was…
Anyway, when meeting a new Can Do Canine, or reacquainting with a dog you’ve had before, or even in interacting with a dog you know well, the kindest thing you can do (haha, Can Do) is let us come to you instead of automatically reaching out with your tentacles. You can offer your hands to invite us into your space, but hold them palms up, low and off to your sides. If a dog responds to your overture by spinning around and showing off his moves, just enjoy the performance! If he wants ear scratches he will likely dive the side of his face right into your hands. If he rubs against your legs like a scratching post or offers you his backside, try some scritches along his spine. Let the dog decide how your hands may (or may not) be involved.
Unsure how to tell what touch a dog actually likes? Why, I’m so glad you asked…
2) Use the “Stop and See” This is the Gold Standard of Human/Canine Interactions. No matter the dog or the touch involved, offer frequent touch breaks and see what she does with the pause. If the dog freezes and looks back expectantly or moves in even closer, feel free to resume the loving. If she uses that pause to shift away slightly or to get up to move, her Touch Meter is likely full. If she does nothing at all, I’d hold the pause for a while longer to see if she needs a minute to decide, or just gently resume what you were doing. She’s likely neutral. Don’t forget to offer another pause after a while so she can offer more feedback.
Question: Won’t a dog who is weary of pets just get up and walk away? Many would, but Can Do Canines aren’t just any old dog. Duh. Our life’s purpose is to watch humans and seek out the “right answers” so we can get a cookie and some praise. While it may feel perfectly clear to you that I can walk away from touch at home but must stay put when a kid touches my tail in public, I assure you some of that nuance may be lost on the Can Do Canine in front of you. Remember that you’re working with dog children, after all. We can only hope they become as wise as I am someday.
3) Let a Sleeping Dog Lie This is one human cliche I am 100% on board with. If a dog is laying in her bed or crate, DO NOT join her. If you see one of us all snug and cozy and want in on that action, grab your own pillows and blankies and lay down nearby. If we want a hog pile, we will come right over. If we don’t, then let us be and soak up our Noble Nearness. Of course, if you lay down by us and DON’T want us on top of you (RUDE) then tell us to “go mat” or help us to our crate. That is clear communication, which we really appreciate. You may notice that pushing us away will only make us lean in harder, and will not achieve your desired result. Different languages and all that, remember?
4) Touch While Working Imagine you’re playing charades with a friend, and you’re trying to contort your body into the phrase “rolling with the punches.” While you’re attempting to gyrate AND punch yourself, your friend starts stroking your forehead like a concerned parent in a Tylenol commercial. Even as a “Handsy Primate” you’re likely to shake your friend off and give them a “what gives??” glare. Well, SAME! It's a rare dog that wants a head pat (to be honest), but even that rare dog is likely to reject you when they’re trying to concentrate on their job.
By now you’ve picked up on my subtle (read: sledgehammer obvious) thesis that it’s helpful when humans watch for our touch preferences. Learning our “working” vs. “resting” preferences is part of that equation, especially because we are WORKING DOGS. I admit to liking a few human touches while chilling at home, but God HELP my mom if she tries to pet me while we’re training for dog sports (my new career). I will shut her down like a power plant. Even a super cuddle mush-pile of a dog will have feelings about touches while she’s trying to earn the cookies.
5) The Mush Piles Can’t Always Call the Shots Just like you are learning about our physical boundaries, we need to learn to respect yours. Remember that when on leash Can Do Canines need to have their attention on you. We can only greet new humans (or dogs) when you have given us the go ahead, and honestly we shouldn’t get that “go ahead” all that often! In the house, don’t let us barrel into guests as they come in the door. Keep us crated unless you are able to actively train door manners as guests arrive. Like, have us on leash and focused on you and the cookies you’re vending. When we’re watching a movie together at home and you need to stop petting us sooner than we’d like, just kindly say, “OK!” and move on with what you need to do. If we don’t take the hint and find our own fun, then just let us know what you WOULD like us to do at that moment. Depending on our age and skill level you can have us lay at your feet, send us to our bed, or just help us to our crate with a Nylabone. We’ll only resent you for a few small moments, but will really appreciate the clear communication.
The Big Picture. I want to end each of these Training Tuesdays with The Big Picture. What does this all mean for those of us who become assistance dogs out in the world with our person?
Can Do Canines breeds dogs that want to be with and work with humans in “mutually beneficial partnerships.” (I didn’t make that up - it’s on your website.) We’ve discussed that dogs vary widely in their physical affection preferences, and in an excellent twist of fate so do humans! Hooray! When matching us with our person, the Can Do Canines Client Services Team considers what they know of us (from CRITICAL input from you volunteers) and what they’ve learned about the client through the interview process. The Mush Piles will get a human who wants to live in THEIR skin, and the Noble Nearnesses will get a human who deeply treasures the security of our attentiveness, but doesn't want all that “touchy” stuff. Wins all around!
Until next time,
Quest
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